Our apologies to Corle 2 Da. His “So St. Louis” video is no longer the “Worst Music Video Ever”, this big sensory turd known as “South City” by the Deuce is now the worst thing we’ve ever seen. Interesting side note: Deuce also holds the title of lamest, most generic  artist name…unless they mean “Deuce” like “We’re going to take a deuce in your ear with our horrible rapping.” If that’s the case, it quickly becomes the most clever.

Here’s the video:

We’ll give them this: These guys know their St. Louis rap game. They hit all the requirements of mentioning every f*cking street name they drive on, every restaurant they eat at and mentioning the Cardinals 47 thousand times.

What they failed to do was buy a tripod, or a camera other than the one on their flip phone. Here’s our favorite still that must have happend just after they hit one of those “So South City potholes”:

They do eventually get out of the car though. They have to tell us that they are “so South City they’re dirty” 100 times first, but it eventually happens, and when it does get ready for the big set up! Picture this: On the pitcher’s mound of a public baseball diamond, in a Cardinals jersey, rapping in to a microphone that looks like a weathervane and is plugged in to third base or something. Nevermind, don’t picture it, just look:

OMG! That is dirty!

Here are some selected lyrics:

“Yo, I’m so South City. Follow me on Twitter.”

“Hit Phillips for two cups, and pour some South City love.” (Yes, they’re rapping about a national gas station chain.)

“I got the whole South City for Shirley” (We know, but that’s what it sounds like.)

There’s more, but we can’t go on. Hell, this video is so bad this guy tried to open his retro Cardinal jacket and fly right out of it. You’d think he would have made it without all kinds of pesky talent weighing him down, but alas, he was forced to stay and finish the video.

There’s something about this city that is interesting enough to make people want to rap about it, but not interesting enough to inspire them to have anything other than a list of locations and businesses and the city name over and over again in the song. It’s odd, and sad, and then kinda funny, but the one thing it’s not is “dirty”. By that we mean generic rap term white guys use “dirty”. It’s definitely the regular dirty.