We aren’t just “America” here in St. Louis, we’re Middle America, the “Heartland”, right in the center! If someone would to motorboat lady America’s giant boobs, their nose would be rubbing St. Louis. As such, we love the Fourth of July and all the crap that comes with it: funnel cakes, tank tops, cut off jean shorts, washed up 90s bands playing loudly, and fireworks. Oh and if you think our patriotism is as fleeting as our love/hate relationship with Cardinal relief pitchers, it’s not! It doesn’t wear off with sweat, it doesn’t fade in the sun…but it does apparently wash off in the rain.
“Due to current weather conditions in the St. Louis metropolitan area, Fair Saint Louis regrets to announce the cancellation of tonight’s Maroon 5 concert and the US Bank/Enterprise fireworks. All other activities are likewise canceled. We are now focusing on having a great 4th of July celebration with Montgomery Gentry. “
Fairgoer, Kayla Weber was disappointed. She says, “We have been looking forward to this for six months for Maroon 5. And we came all the way out here for this and now they’re cancelling it, ridiciulous [sic].”
So all it takes to squash a celebration of freedom is rain. Not that we disagree mind you, nothing makes you hate everything, including your country, more than having soggy feet. You say you can “walk it off” or “eh, it will dry.” No. No it won’t. Then you’ll get home and pull off that nasty wet sock, look at your wrinkled white feet and we’re willing to be the last thing you want to do is do that loud “Wooooo!” thing at Jumbotron with an American flag picture on it.
The saddest part of Sunday’s rain out wasn’t the temporary loss of patriotism, but was the concerts that people missed. Sure people like Kayla were bummed about headliners Maroon 5’s show getting cancelled, but worse yet, local band (and friends of the site) Option//Control won a vote to make it on stage Sunday, but the rain washed that opportunity away which is a total bummer. Can we bring back those shows?! No, we can’t. Not really. But we can link to the two bands in the correct order to simulate a concert that was washed down the drain like so much red, white and blue facepaint:
Our first act are here because of their rabid fan base, great songs, putting girls in lingere in the background of their videos and the fact that I see their name when I look at the lower left of my keyboard, lets give it up for Option//Control!
…are you ready?! We can’t hear you! We said, are you ready for the next act?! Yeah! They need no introduction! You know who these guys are! Maroon 5!!!!!
(…singing the Backstreet Boys. This is them right? We thought they had more members than this, but it does sound pretty much the same, so we rolled the dice.)