16 days. That’s how long it takes for a broken wrist to heal. You take any longer than that and you’re just milking it you pussy. That’s not us talking mind you, it’s Albert Pujols and he can do that because he set the bar yesterday miraculously returning to the Cardinals just over two weeks from the day he bashed his wrist against the Royals’ Wilson Betemit.
After taking indoor batting practice and fielding grounders outside on Monday, Pujols said there was no pain and added that he felt great.
The team initially believed the three-time NL MVP would be out six weeks and could return at the start of August. Pujols underwent a CT scan Friday that indicated fast progress and said he’d been hitting for about a week with the wrist taped.
Since we’re all pretty sure he wasn’t faking it for a two week vacation (not really the best idea with hundreds of millions on the line come fall) then the only other answer here is that Pujols is super-human. Pretty sweet right? Wait, no it’s not! Pujols and his X-Men-like healing ability should be walking the streets protecting us because we need some of that action really bad. Somehow St. Louis was sent the superhero it needs, and instead us retards were just like “Lets just watch you hit this little ball as far as you can!” …ok, well maybe that is pretty cool and we can’t fault our man Pujols for picking the more lucrative option. We’ll see if we still feel the same way if we end up breaking our wrist while protecting ourself from a South City mugger (or super villain). What would only take two weeks away from Pujols, would take probably two months out of our life. Ok, most of that extra injury time would be because we can’t stop picking at it, and we use that wrist three or four times a day for…um…stuff. Five if it’s the weekend when the Newport News catalog arrives.