St. Louis Police Release Car Jacker, Said He Had an Honest Face

After having over 20 cars broken in to downtown, the St. Louis Police finally made a breakthrough over the weekend when they arrested two suspects in connection with the break-ins…and by “connection”, we mean that they totally did it.

Suspect Calvin Willis, 25, was ordered held on $75,000 bond after being charged with second degree assault, first degree tampering and resisting arrest.

Alright! Yeah! Maybe next time you’ll think twice before doing something hurtful like trying to steal our Paula Cole CD off our passenger seat! _Where have all the cowboys gone_?! Calvin stole them, that’s where, but now he’s in jail.

Of course we’re assuming the other guy received the same bond, because otherwise this would look pretty silly just letting this guy go.

Suspect Michael Paynes was released with no bond after being charged with the lesser charges of second degree tampering and resisting arrest.

*face palm*

Probably a first time offender though…right?

Still, Payne’s offenses constituted a parole violation. He was prosecuted as an adult at age 16 for allegedly shooting at an off-duty police officer, after trying to break into that officer’s car in May of 2004 in north St. Louis.

Paynes received a 9-year prison sentence and was released early January 21, 2011.

Son. of. a. bitch.

“Every time we hear one of these stories, how police solved the case and someone got an easy sentence or a low bond, it’s very, very, frustrating,” said Jeff Rainford, Chief of Staff for St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay.

Rainford adds, “St. Louis has plenty of police officers.  St. Louis makes plenty of arrests, and yet none of us are satisfied with the outcome.  There’s something wrong.  We recognize that, if this was a break-down in the system, we would certainly hope that the courts rectify it, fix it, and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

How the hell can a judge look at a case, any case, and not have the suspect’s criminal history? Did the judge not think it was a little weird that he had no history for this guy? We’re not talking about a blank sheet of paper, because pretty much anything would say this dick was in prison for 9 years, we’re talking about nothing. He had nothing in front of him and he decided the best course of action was “You’re free to go sir! I hear there’s a ballgame tonight, and I’ve got an extra ticket! Interested? …no? You’d rather just hang out, outside by the parking lot? Weird, but I’ll allow it!” Another running theory is that maybe the judge thought Paynes had an honest face, but that’s him up there with the creepy eyes staring in to your soul, so maybe not so much.

Mistakes were made, but is anyone planning on picking this guy up and making sure he ends up in jail like he should be?

State authorities issued a warrant for Payne’s arrest Tuesday for violating his parole.  He remains at large.

Great. When we finally find this guy in the parking lot during the next homestand, can we pin one of those Monopoly “Go to jail” cards to his shirt this time? Apparently, one can’t be too careful with the St. Louis courts system.

via Fox2