The campus of University of Missouri St. Louis today was locked down after a student reported they had seen a “man with a gun” to the police. The following text-alert was sent out to all faculty, staff and students:
Man with a gun seen in Lucas Hall. Police have been unable to confirm this. Older W/M, glasses, 5’8″. Avoid Lucas Hall. Secure in place. Don’t come to Campus. If this person is seen call the campus police at 516-5155.
Yup, seeing a man “with a gun” does sound like a call the police situation…however…
According to an UMSL spokesperson, a professor who teaches western civilization brought the gun to school. Once a semester he dresses in fur trader attire and brings in one of his long rifles as part of a re-enactment for his class.
So now we know that an UMSL student called the police to report that Davy Crockett was seen on campus and the plan was to mow down students with his long rifle. This plan would have failed miserably with fitness majors…they’re way too fast to get a shot off after packing the powder and loading in the little marble bullet. One of the more stagnent majors must have been the target! Computer Science or Culinary Arts. Probably three or four rounds could be fired off before they could make it over to some suitably sized cover.