St. Louis Cardinals are the Second-Best Real Estate on MLB Monopoly

A few years ago the people of Milton Bradley decided to turn out their little mustachioed real estate mogul and let any old brand, knock off that top hat and go to town on the Monopoly Man. The latest brand to take a ride on the “hope you don’t realize this is the same game as the last 45 incarnations” train is Major League Baseball.

The only intrigue when they churn out a new Monopoly game is what parts of the theme are worthy of Boardwalk and what crap do they throw down on the ghetto by the jail that is St. Charles Place. Well Cardinals fans do we have some news for you! Our team is Park Place baby! Movin on up! (Movin’ on up!) …

The Yankees are Boardwalk, naturally, but damn Park Place! Alright now! …not sure how our Boardwalk neighbors will appreciate our fondness for the wave and red sleeveless mesh shirts, but who cares! Wooo! Fill up your cooler with wheels with Natty Ice and lets go to the game!

The story’s over. Go work now.

Jesus. Really? Can’t we ever have a piece on where the Cardinals line up without having to also mention where the damn Cubs line up? Its petty really. That’s what we’d call it. …ok, you’re right. We’ll tell you. Plus we already made a graphic… (right). The Cubs are St. James bitch! way over around two corners away in the orange tinted borough of St. James…a short walk away from the jail. Ha! The Cubs are lower-middle class! Have fun at your middle manager job at the box factory loser and buying your winter coats at Walmart…and…um…being not quite poor, but also not really secure. I don’t know. Lower-middle class jokes only go so far until they get sad. …just like the Cubs! Hey-Oh! Had one more left after-all!

The last notable is the LA Angels of Anaheim of North Mexico are the MLB ghetto according to Monopoly, which is odd. Our guess would have been Tampa Bay. Or Canada.

Tip of the cap to Derrick Goold at STLToday for spotting this nugget of postibility!