Every year the Post Dispatch lets the 134 old people waiting to die that still get the paper delivered to them vote in a poll to see what comic they cut out to keep things “lively”. Usually? Who cares right? However, this year we noticed a frequent target of our ire in the list: Family Circus. This is it Family Circus! You slipped up and got on the “kill” list and now we are going to make you pay.
It is no secret that Family Circus ruins any comics reading experience, be it in a doctor’s office or barber shop, you start to read the comics and it’s dumb, unfunny as is just sitting right there. You try to dodge it by reading all around it, but you know…you know…that you’re going to end up reading it. You have to! It’s so big and right there in front of you [Editor’s Note: That’s what she said!] and you start to think “Stupid Family Circus…I wonder how bad it is today? Really bad probably. What a piece of cra…ok, I’ll read it. … Dammit!”
Maybe you aren’t familiar with the work of Family Circus, or maybe its been a while and you’ve forgotten. “Jeez, it can’t be that bad.” you’re saying right now. Wrong! Point your lookin’ balls right here:
Here’s our chance! Lets go a vote for Family Circus right now. You can do that here. As of this writing, its “loosing” to whatever the hell “In the Bleachers” is. Never heard of that, but it can not be as bad as Family Circus. It just can’t. Vote vote vote! Shit like this crosses political lines! Tea Party, Socialists, non-retards, any of you can and should be voting here!
“Oh please. I like Family Circus. I have a few of them cut out and hung up outside my cubicle at work! They remind me of my family. I swear my son is just like Jeffy!”
I hate you. Never come back here. Your car could explode because a shipment of dildos used by Rosie O’Donnell fell out of an airplane and landed on your car and I would show up at the scene, carefully stepping over the dildos, pull the toothpick out of my mouth while pushing up the brim of my cool detective hat with one finger and say “This death was too quick and dignified for someone this profoundly stupid.” Then a cop would say “Do you suspect foul play?” I would look in to the camera and say “The only thing that’s foul around here Frank, is the victim’s taste in comics, and these dildos.” and then CSI:Miami would start.