We’ve always wished for the day when it would be announced that St. Louis would be the home of years of girls playing football in tight little outfits…but sadly the Rams still haven’t worked out their deal with the city, so Lingerie Football will have to do. [Editor’s Note: Tip you’re waitress folks!]
The St. Louis squad will compete in the Eastern Conference against the Baltimore Charm, the Cleveland Crush, the Philadelphia Passion, the Tampa Breeze and another expansion team in Omaha.
Prospective athletes will have a chance to lace ’em up at tryouts in the St. Louis area on Sunday, June 17th.
Are you still pretty hot and missed the extra attention that Powder Puff Football brought during high school? Are you cool with wrestling with other ladies in little outfits? What’s the chance that while recovering a fumble you might start making out with someone at the bottom of the scrum? Do you think that one hard tackle might bring up any latent daddy memories that once bubbled up will turn this sexy fun in to a boner shrinking trip in to the stark reality of child abuse? …do you think you could just bottle those emotions up and choose to act out in other ways, like licking your own nipple? Perfect. See you on the 17th!
The yet-to-be-named team will play in the St. Charles Family Arena for the 2013 season.
Here are some name suggestions:
- The St. Louis Shockers
- The St. Louis Only About One Out of Ten Are Actually Decent Lookings
- The St. Louis Angry Dragons (look it up)
- The St. Louis This Will Only Be Entertaining For About A Weeks
- The St. Louis Hustler Club Day Shift
Naturally, all of these names would include some logo that makes the Arch look like a vagina.
Send in your own names! …or not. Actually don’t. We’re here to entertain you, so just enjoy not being asked to do something on the internet for once. We don’t need your pictures, retweets, or whatever the hell it is you do on Pintrest. Just enjoy pretending to work this Friday.