Update: So it’s now officially Saturday and Pujols is still a free agent. Not because Corcoran was wrong of course, it was probably because this thing, this other thing and what’s his face did that stuff they were thinking about doing and that pushed the whatever back a few whatevers until it’s all ready. Then he’ll be right. You’ll see.
Original post below…
It’s Friday, and that’s a big deal for another reason other than the fact you get to wear a knit shirt and chinos to work and spring for the beer at TGIFridays during lunch. It’s also the day the 550AM mid-day talker JC Corcoran says Albert Pujols will announce that he’s resigning with the Cardinals! It must be true too, because it was on the radio, and the radio has never lied to anyone ever.
For the record, my story about Albert’s intent to re-sign with the Cardinals is not…I repeat…is not a “stunt.” Frankly, I don’t care how many Twitter followers or Facebook friends I have. I simply reported a story I believe to be true, based on two good sources and some additional “circumstantial” info. We got zero recognition for our reporting of Tony LaRussa’s retirement more than three weeks before the official announcement. Let’s see what happens Friday.
We will see what happens today, but if media today has proven anything it’s that throwing something out there on flimsy sources, especially in media without a clear searchable history like radio, is the way things work. Toss some shit against the wall, if you hit something you’re amazing…if you miss, make an excuse about how sources aren’t always right but you still “…really trust this source. Maybe something broke down over the last few days that no one saw coming.” and quickly move on to the next thing. It’s a clear pattern, which is why we wanted to make sure we remember this day and see how Corcoran does in his prognostications. If he nails it, he gets the attention he deserves, and if he misses…well he deserves that attention as well. 550AM sure doesn’t care. They just want any kind of attention you’ll give them.
As for us, we clearly need to get in to this business about throwing stuff out there to see if it sticks! Here are a few things the voices in our head our sources have told us to tell you:
That Twilight movie is going to suck crazy hard.
There’s a guy living in your basement. He doesn’t seem overly violent, but he sure does have a lot of knives for one guy. He must be a collector.
The Jackson 5 will play a reunion tour in the next five years with dancing robots in place of Michael and Tito Jackson, because one is dead and the other is horrible.
Three girls that are seemingly unconnected other than the fact that we had an unrequited crush on each of them will get a mailbox full of that stuff you spray in to basement cracks that expands to 10 times it’s size in 30 minutes.
5. Pujols will still be a free agent on Saturday.