Building Explodes in Joplin, MO

“Whew! We made it! We thought our business would be done for sure during the now infamous Joplin tornados, but somehow our auto paint supply building and business managed to survive and good thing too, because it’s rough out here now and our house sure took a beating. I was just sayin’ to Jan the other day how happy I am we still have money rolling in. A lot of people weren’t as fortunate as…

*ring* *ring*

…hold on, let me get that.

Yes, that’s me.

Uh huh…

Well yes sir, I do own that building…

Son. Of. A. BITCH!”

A downtown Joplin building exploded and burst into flames early Tuesday.

The Joplin Fire Department says no injuries were reported after the fire at the Wholesale Auto Paint Store. The two-story building was unoccupied when the explosion occurred about 4:45 a.m.

The building, owned by Bob and Jan Gaskill, Joplin, was declared a total loss.

Figures right? The only good thing about this is that the explosion had a lot less stuff around it to hurt with the shrapnel in the pile of crap that is now Joplin, MO. This is like if when you’re pissing on one of those urinal cakes, and you really had to go so you’re pissing a lot, and then you’re done…but right before you zip back up you feel some leftovers in there and give it the half shake/muscle push and a little bit more piss comes out. Well that’s pretty much what just happened to the urinal cake that is Joplin. You’re God in that story just getting one little bit of surprise piss after your previously decimating urine stream. …ok sorry, maybe you’re “Allah”, Mormon Jesus, or whoever it is that Tom Cruise worships, it really doesn’t matter, be freaking Superman if you want….wait. Dibs on Superman!

via KMOV