New Emergency Siren System to Launch in April; Should be Just as Confusing as the Current One

St. Louis County is nearly complete on their new emergency siren system and expects to take it live in April, just in time to make it hard to get news about the last few spring tornados by being just loud enough so you can’t hear the TV.

St. Louis County police said 88 new sirens have been installed, but they are not operational because the entire system has not been installed and tested.

The county will continue to use the existing system until the new sirens are ready, which is expected to happen in April.

Unless these things involve shooting a huge holographic version of Princess Leia in to the St. Louis sky to tell us all what the problem is, we can’t see how these will be any less confusing than the current system. Sirens go off to tell you things are bad and you should run for cover…3o minutes later another siren says “ok, seriously now, no time for a hot pocket. Get to the basement.” …and then a third siren that says everything is cool, go back to sleep?! What the hell is that? How does that make sense? They all sound the same! Sure there’s the voice that comes over but who knows what that guy’s saying. It could be “all clear” just as easily as it could be “Hey, when you’re dead in a few minutes…can we have your bike?”

via KSDK