Governor Nixon Says We’re In an Emergency

Governor Jay Nixon asked President Obama if he can officially call an emergency for all 114 Missouri counties so we can all get some federal money.

Nixon’s office says the governor submitted the request to President Barack Obama on Wednesday as Missouri began digging out from the blizzard and severe winter storm.

Nixon says the record or near-record snowfall that hit much of Missouri has burdened local jurisdictions and the state with “tremendous” costs.

Wait. All 114 counties? It really wasn’t that bad in the city. Seriously. People went to work. If you can get to work and the Bread Company down the street is open, we don’t think that qualifies as a state of emergency. We think the city handled this all pretty well actually. The main streets were serviceably cleaned and we just loved the little touches they took the time to do, like putting up those frozen homeless guy outdoor coat racks around the city. We did see a few people trying to rob a snowman, but to be fair he was asking for it dressed up like that. Wearing a top hat north of Delmar? Come on! Gotta be smarter than that.

via KSDK