St. Charles Gas Station Clerks Scare Easily

A man attempted to rob an O’Fallon, Missouri gas station holding only box cutters…and it worked somehow.

Authorities say a man walked into the Phillips 66, 2700 Technology Drive, near Interstate 64 about 10 a.m., threatened a clerk with box cutters and demanded cash.

The man ran out with less than $200 and hopped into a car believed to be a Honda Civic waiting outside, authorities said. No one was hurt.

How did this work? “Give me some money or I’ll stab you with this really short knife? …you know, the kind of cut you get when you are opening a box and  you slip and hit your finger. Those really sting and make it hard to type for a couple of days. The cost of little band-aids alone is daunting I’m sure, so just give me $200 bucks and I’ll be on my way.”

Only in St. Charles would a plan like that work. Try that crap with any city gas station and the clerk will laugh at you, show you his old wounds and then shoot you. “That’s not a knife wound…this is a knife wound!” Bam. You’re dead. Seriously, take your little box cutters to a North City Shell station and you let me know how that turns out. You probably won’t even get the chance to threaten the clerk because the guy robbing the place just before you entered would shoot you first with his semi-automatic weapon. Don’t worry, the guy that robs the place just after you should push you aside, or at least step over you, to get to the clerk, which is just common courtesy. If you didn’t have that, how could you effectively rob every gas station 5 times a day? You couldn’t, it would be a logistical nightmare!

via STLToday