According to Missouri’s Attorney General Chris Koster, there are charities out there that aren’t really here to help! Some charities are super helpful organizations that take money and give all of it over to whatever their cause is…women that like fat guys or Mexicans something…but other charities take your money, pocket most of it and then throw a few pennies at their “cause” to keep things nice and legal. We’re starting to think that money we gave to the “Women Helping Others Reach Elevated Standards” last week won’t really help anything except for Cinnamon’s issues with her pimp.
Attorney General Chris Koster today cautioned Missourians to do their homework before giving to charities this holiday season to make sure their donations are used to help others, and not diverted toward exorbitant telemarketing and administration fees.
“Missourians are by nature very generous,” Koster said. “And although most charities do wonderful work, some actually do very little to help those they claim to support. Before giving, go to our website at http://www.ago.mo.gov/ and click on Check-a-Charity to make sure the charity you are considering uses at least 65 percent of its donations for charitable programs.”
The worst charity, the Missouri Chapter of the United States Navy Veterans Association, is no longer active, but the rest are ready and willing to give pennies on the dollar to whatever it is made you give them the money in the first place.
One look this list nets some unavoidable truths: People are suckers for cancer and veterans.
Cancer Survivor’s Fund, Missouri, Texas got $2,402,824 and only game 3.13% to charity.
Union Breast Cancer Foundation, Huntington, New York got $2,428,818, but gave only 9.13% to actual boobs.
The Veteran’s Fund, Chesapeake, Virginia netted a cool $1,466,500 but gave a mere 8.44% to charity.
Foundation for American Veterans, Inc., West Bloomfield, Michigan made $5,141,472! …just under 9% (8.98) went to veterans.
We’d be a little wary of any “Veterans with Cancer” funds that call in the coming weeks. If they do, ask them for verification, like a veteran’s blood sample or maybe a have them bring a cancerous veteran over for inspection in a bubble.
No! They aren’t in a bubble because they have cancer! …They’re in the bubble because they’re old and that’s gross.