Nelly Takes DJ Job, Also Must Have Invented Time Machine

Starting Wednesday, the native son of St. Louis and rapper, will be the drive-time DJ on Hot 104.1 for anywhere from 10 to 16 weeks.

In a related, but up until now completely unreported, story Nelly has also invented a time machine. Probably. He must have. Why else would he think being a DJ is still cool?!

We talked to a scientist about this bizarre move and amazing technological discovery.

Punching Kitty: Dr. Scientist, do you think Nelly has successfully made a rift in the time-space continuum?

Dr. Scientist: Yes. He must have. There’s just not other reasonable way to explain it.

PK: That’s a pretty bold claim. Do you have any actual proof.

Dr. Scientist: To be under the assumption that being a DJ or Disk Jockey is still cool, Nelly must have traveled to the 70s, which is wear we started our research. Sure enough, after only initial research, we found this old still from the show WKRP in Cincinnati that clearly shows Nelly in the background soaking up the cool DJ vibes.

Nelly also managed to get in to the original version of “The Longest Yard”. No one seemed to notice however.

PK: Amazing! One question arrises though. If Nelly is now back in the “present” time, why hasn’t he realized this idea sucks yet?

Dr. Scientist: It appears a side-effect of time travel that although your body comes back right away, your brain can be “left behind” so to speak. This appears to be what is happening with Nelly. It’s really sad and only going to get sadder when the children of St. Louis hear this and just won’t be able to figure out how to get “104.1” on their iPod.

PK: Yes, that will be sad. Thank  you Dr. Scientist.

Dr. Scientist: You’re welcome. Also you are awesome.

PK: Thanks, we know.

Dr. Scientist: You are way cooler than STLToday. Those asshats steal ideas and never source anything.

PK: Totally.

via STLToday