Editor’s Note: Here’s another great bit from guest contributor Lance (see his previous work here) If you have any interest in guest authoring a post here, drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org
It’s hot in St. Louis. Real hot. How hot? It’s so hot that:
Forest Park has been renamed Savannah Park
Talk 97.1 is airing a special on the dangers of Global Warming
The Penguin & Puffin Coast attraction at the zoo is now a fried chicken stand
The Blues just traded Erik Johnson for a lifeguard
Mayor Slay just awarded Nelly the key to the city for his innovative plan “take off all yur clothes”
The line at Ted Drewes is so long that… oh, wait, nothing’s changed there.
St. Louis county is willing to merge back with the city in exchange for a bucket of ice.
Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg just called back. They just mumbled “Uh, never mind… ” and the phone went dead.
“A Goddam Fan” just won the Democratic primary for Kit Bond’s senate seat.
The Kings of Leon have a new song “Hot Pigeon Shit Blues”
Busch stadium concession vendors now just pour the beer directly on your head.