Awesome Story From the Past: Randi Naughton and Her Breasts Hate Ricky Lamming

We’ve only been posting here at Punching Kitty for about a year and a half, but its not the only time we’ve taken a moment to enjoy how amazingly weird St. Louis really is. Take for instance this story about Fox 2 anchor Randi Naughton and her admirer Ricky Lamming which we originally wrote for Hell Yeah Bitch! .com. We recently ran across this old story and well, consider this a Punching Kitty prequel.

July 13th, 2006 —

“Randi Naughton and Her Breasts Hate Ricky Lamming”

I like to stop by stlbloggers.com [dead link removed] from time to time to see what I’m missing in my city while I lay on my couch watching Growing Pains reruns. Today stlbloggers.com yielded a very odd story about the first guy to be prosecuted for Illinois’ cyberstalking law. Now normally I disregard any news coming out of Illinois because who the hell cares about whats happening over there? But this story was a little different. It seems that one Rickey E. Lamming (Thats the sexy man pictured.), 50, was obsessed with a local morning news anchor Randi Naughton. More specifically, Lamming was obsessed with Randi Naughton’s breasts, and he wasn’t into keeping it much of a secret. Detailed by the stlbloggers.com posts here and here [dead links removed] Lamming posted the following post on stlbloggers in January of last year:

I’m a WHAT?

I recently posted a couple of messages on a google bulletin board extolling the magnificence of Randi Naughtons breasts. (shes the morning wake up anchor at channel 2) and after sobering up, I removed them.

I read later that week in a St Louis Media Professional discussion that I’m a STALKER!!!

I resent this, this woman comes into viewers homes every morning and people in this position should know that things like this happen ( I remember a Mary Tyler Moore show where she got “one of those”).

Does this make me a stalker!

Hmmm………thanks a lot!

Maybe if you did indeed get drunk, and post something on the internet about someone’s breasts you wouldn’t be a stalker. (I mean, who among us hasn’t gotten drunk and posted about women’s breasts?) However, one might think you are a stalker if you…I don’t know…say made an entire blog about that same women’s breasts and updated said blog for a few months. That might make you a stalker right? Check out randinaughtonsbreasts.blogspot.com. Not only am I not joking…click it, its safe for work for the most part. It is clearly written by old Slick Rick, and in the profile he coyly states his intentions with the greeting card like sentiment: “I’d love to f*** Randi Naughton’s breasts.” Is it weird or wrong that I would totally love to see the inside of this guy’s room right now? I just keep flashing back to Ace Ventura when he visits Ray Finkle’s bedroom. “What a _morning news_ nut huh?”

Anyway, Naughton struck a blow today with Ricky getting 30 months of probation! Of course seeing how Ricky’s a bit looney, I don’t think the whole idea of probation will really get through, so good luck with that Randi. Oh, and here’s another reason why it sucks to be Randi Naughton: When you search for her in Google, guess what the second result that gets returned is? Ah, you guessed it: randinaughtonsbreasts.blogspot.com. Ouch. [Not exactly true anymore, but this article is up there.] Maybe she should think about petitioning Blogger to take down that blog, or do something to make her breasts less attractive.

I ran across Lamming’s Blogger profile. Not only did I discover that he has 2 other blogs about Naughton but the profile itself is filled with priceless insane stalker talk. Under “About Me” he has the previously quoted line: “I’d love to f*** Randi Naughton’s breasts.” Under “Interests” he has…wait for it…”Randi Naughton.” Those you saw coming right? Well under “Favorite Movies” he has “Casablanca, Forbidden Planet, Zatoichi series” and under “Favorite Books” he lists “Wheel of Time series, Dark Tower series, Dean Koontz books, fantasy, Knights” I love that this guy set up his profile, was all Silence of the Lambs style writing his gross intentions about Randy Naughton in the first two blanks while I’m assuming he is touching himself, and then he gets to where it asks what his favorite movies and books are and he switches gears to “Gosh, what should I put here…Oh I know I just _loved_ Dean Koontz’s last book!” I know its messed up, but just find crazy people endlessly entertaining!