Wanna Book Ray Lankford? It’s Gonna Cost You $5,000

Ray Lankford, the ex-Cardinal outfielder, recently launched his new website all about his time with the Cardinals, his accomplishments and contact info to book him for corporate events and parties.

raylankford16.com is chock full of tidbits like,

Lankford hit more home runs at Busch Stadium (123) than any other player, and finished his career in his home ballpark with a pinch hit home run in his final major league at bat on October 3, 2004 .

He was also traded for Woody Williams to the Padres back in the day…a trade that worked out great for the Cardinals and…well…Ray’s site is about his time with the Cardinals so I’m guessing you could figure out how that went.

We’ll give Ray credit for his tough on himself bio that closes with:

Lankford became eligible for the National Baseball Hall of Fame in 2010. 75% of the vote was necessary for induction, and 5% was necessary to stay on the ballot. He received zero votes, and will no longer be on the BBWAA ballot.

Ok, so for a not even close Hall of Famer and a guy that was a solid Cardinal in his time, what would you think it would take to book him for your corporate event? [Editor’s Note: Play along and pretend you didn’t read the title. Thanks.]

1k? 1.2k? 1.3k? Nope. Try 5. Five thousand dollars to book Ray Lankford for an appearance.

If we’re going to pay 5 grand for Ray Lankford to come to our party he better be bringing some magic tricks with him, and his first one better be making Willie McGee appear. We’re getting close to making that worth it, but just to be sure, Ray better also bring ice cream for everyone and at the end of the appearance give me $4,000 dollars. If you can set that up, we’ll talk.

In a related story, Bo Hart will appear at your party for a bottle of scotch and a clean spot in your garage for the night.

More: Ray’s Facebook and Twitter