That’s Enough, American Mustache Institute

Its tax time! Uh oh. Sure hope no one-joke-pony dude duo tries to write a press release to get themselves in the news again.

Too late  (via the AP):

It’s time that mustached Americans got in on the stimulus money. At least that’s the proposal being pushed by tax policy professor John Yeutter and the St. Louis-based AmericanMustache Institute. The tongue-in-cheek group dubs itself “the world’s only facial hair advocacy and research organization.”

On the eve of the deadline to file income tax returns, the professor and the AMI are pushing for a $250 annual tax incentive for people with mustaches. The funds would be used for mustache grooming supplies.

Nothing sure is more funny than mustachioed gentlemen, and we all had a good laugh at that joke about 4 years ago.

We get it, ok. You have mustaches, its a fun word to say and you know how to write a press release. You have one, maybe 2 bullets in that gun, but now you shot all the funny out of it and you are just taking the gun in your hand and beating a very dead horse. It’s even worse being in the same city as these guys because every news group wants to be the first one to let their hair down and have a fun story in the middle of the double baby homicide in North City, so they all pounce on these stupid press releases every time.

Don’t let these guys fool you in to thinking they are actually entertainers. “Oh hey he’s wearing a lab coat while calling himself a professor of mustachery! He’s like the new Bob Hope!” they aren’t. Need more proof than the fact they can only come up with one joke? Ok. Watch their aborted attempt of a “show” and tell me how much magic you can feel coming through the camera.

In case you haven’t figured out the formula, let me clue you in:


It’s [insert time of year] again, and its time to stand up for mustache rights! We at the American Mustache Institute thinkits high time that [something zany] be done for mustachioed men around the world.

Blah blah blah mustache, fart fart poop mustache, mustache mustache derp.

There, we can do it to. Hilarious. Quick, someone put me on ESPN.

Also, for the record, the following one-note joke nouns can go to hell along with any fake affiliated groups that might be out there annoying other cities:

  1. Ninjas

  2. Pirates

  3. Bacon