Horrible Foreign Guy Nearly Kills Pregnant Woman, Smashes Daycare

The concept of deportation was invented for this asshole. Here’s the short version: A severely impaired driver swerved and ran red lights for miles down Jennings Station road in Pine Lawn, Missouri. At the Margaret intersection he swerved again, this time smashing in to a pregnant woman and then the side of a daycare. …after that he called everyone’s favorite president, Abe Lincoln, a pussy on Facebook and got out of the car, stepped on a baby bunny, and took a dump on a laptop…but the laptop had pictures of Julia Roberts on it…yes, America’s Sweetheart! [Read More]

A Crook Runs From the Law

File this under “dumbass”…and then sub-file it under “untrimmed goatee and need of a Flowbee touch up”: A man was charged on Friday with “Aggravated Fleeing” after he hit an Collinsville Police cruiser with his car and then ran…on foot…with his car still back there. Perfect plan! Now you’re busted and sweaty. You’ll have the last laugh though, don’t look in to the camera when shooting your mugshot. Ha! Ruined your photo. [Read More]