File this under “dumbass”…and then sub-file it under “untrimmed goatee and need of a Flowbee touch up”: A man was charged on Friday with “Aggravated Fleeing” after he hit an Collinsville Police cruiser with his car and then ran…on foot…with his car still back there. Perfect plan! Now you’re busted and sweaty. You’ll have the last laugh though, don’t look in to the camera when shooting your mugshot. Ha! Ruined your photo.
Yes, running was a really really dumb plan. They had your car dude, they were going to find you anyway and now you’ve got the really manly charge of “aggravated fleeing” on your record. Nice of them to at least through “aggravated” in there, so you at least sounded pissed off while your were running like a little girl, probably with tears running down your face whimpering as you tried to catch your breath. They could have just as easily charged you with 1st degree “being a stupid pussy” or 2nd degree “running home to change his panties”
The kicker to this whole story is that the guy’s name is: Steven Randall Crook. Crook! The guy is literally a Crook. Maybe that’s why he ran, being in his blood and all…sure, it’s probably the thing about him being stupid and a big pussy, but it could have also been the name. (No it wasn’t)