Dear News Outlets,

Seriously, why is this story still coming up?  It happened.  The dude didn’t die, you say it the one time as a segue from news to sports on the 10 o’clock news and thats it.  No more.  We don’t care.  Even the staff at the hospital, the people that help others for a living know that no one cares:

On Sunday, hospital spokeswoman Valerie Hoven said Hoffman remained in stable condition. She could not comment further on the man’s injuries or when he might be released.

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