“Whew! Glad we got our fight settled over that gas can. I should go change though because I have gas all over me in addition to all the booze I’ve been drinking…but first I need a light up a smoke. Oh shit. I’m totally on fire now.”

That’s a thing that happened. We ad-libbed the dialog.

Police tell News 4 the woman and the man she lives with in North St. Louis in the 5200 block of Beacon had been drinking all day.

The two got into an argument over a gas can while the man was mowing the lawn, and gas splashed on her. They later resolved their fight.

Several minutes later, [the] woman lit a cigarette- causing the gas to ignite, engufling [sic] her in flames.

The woman is in critical condition after suffering second and third degree burns on her face and chest. We do hope she’ll be ok, but let this be a lesson to the rest of you that want to get drunk, have a gas fight and then want to smoke: Pick a maximum of one of those things to do at a time…maybe you can drink and smoke, but even that ends up with you burning the guy trying to walk behind you at the bar, so just stick to one.

via KMOV