It would seem its “horrible parents” week here at Punching Kitty. Yesterday we told you about a woman who lets her one kid escape and then leaves the other one alone when she goes to look for the first one, and a dad that got his car stolen after leaving it running with his 5 year old in the back. Now those are pretty horrible stories, but today’s story might be even better…err worse…well better, but in a comedic sense…not comedic per se, maybe like “better” in an OMG WTF kinda way.
KMOV described the situation thusly (emphasis ours):
A Springfield man is behind bars in Manchester for driving while intoxicated. However, Jason Turnbough wasn’t alone- he had his four children in the car with him.
Turnbough, 37, was charged Aug. 20 for DWI, endangering children and driving while his license was revoked. The oldest child was 11 years old; the youngest was one year old. Turnbough was also charged as a chronic offender.
Jason Turnbough has had four previous DWI, his license was revoked, but guess what? Turns out dudes that have four DWIs, tend to not give a shit about rules and stuff. Crazy right? They took his little piece of laminated paper with his picture on it, but yet he still managed to find a car! How did he know how to turn it out without his license?! This bastard is one keen criminal mastermind. At least we know the system isn’t to blame. No one could have known that he’d flagrantly flaunt the law with his amazing “driving without a license” ability…five freaking times!
Upon pulling him over officers noticed Turnbough had slurred speech, bloodshot and glassy eyes, and a strong odor of alchohol on his breath. According to court documents, he also failed a field sobriety test and refused a breathalyzer test.
So drunk he was slurring his speech while driving his 4 children around? Nice job buddy. We’ll give you this though: It’s nice to get the family together on major life milestones. Usually we’re talking about things like getting a promotion, or finishing a marathon, but “5th DWI” might be a big deal for some Missouri folk, so…congratulations Jason! Your kid’s foster parents and their eventual cellmates are really going to love hearing about Dad’s “Quest for #5!” at the bar that day.