We were forwarded a “Public Awareness Bulletin” from the City of Shrewsbury last night, and while we have to imagine that vast majority of email you get being on this mailing list is horribly boring, this one was a keeper.

A female motorist has reported that, on July 30, 2012 at approximately 9:00 P.M., she was traveling northbound on Shrewsbury Avenue from Weil Avenue when she noticed the following vehicle traveling behind her [flashing red and blue lights].

The operator of the aforementioned vehicle pulled directly behind the female motorist.  Believing the vehicle to be a police car, the female motorist pulled to the side of the road, near Murdoch Avenue, and stopped.

The other vehicle pulled behind her and stopped.  The female motorist believed she was being stopped by a police officer because her automobile had a defective headlight.

When the suspect approached, the female motorist told the individual she had just been stopped a few minutes earlier by another officer who gave her a citation for the defective headlight.

While speaking with the victim, the suspect kissed her on the cheek and attempted to kiss her on the lips. The suspect then indicated the victim would already be paying enough on the citation she received earlier and told her she could leave.  The victim then drove off.

What a nice fake police officer! Giving out kisses and letting her off with a fake warning! He didn’t have to be that nice you know…he could have easily given her a fake ticket and grabbed some boob.

If approached by a person claiming to be a police officer and if there is a question as to whether the individual is a law enforcement officer, you are encouraged to ask for the appropriate credentials such as a badge and identification card.

…but at that point you’ve probably already got his tongue in your mouth, so it’s tough to ask questions.

To have a guy pretending to be a cop and then going in for the kiss is pretty messed up though, especially since the email doesn’t mention any details about how hot the lady was, rough lbs estimate, or even a subjective 1 to 10 rating. We also are left wondering if this fake cop had a plan B  handy if his victim turned out to be a gentleman…maybe just a peck on the cheek then?…or maybe the lipper was the plan B. Who knows what (or who) could have gone down if someone else had been stopped. So many questions!

We’ll give the police a few days to figure this all out, but if they don’t, we’re off to Shrewsbury with our windows down and plenty of ChapStick because that’s the kind of dedication you expect from a news site with a cartoon kitty in it’s masthead!

via the tip line