So now that the dust has settled from that one guy leaving town to play for a different team over a bunch of money because a magic man in the sky told him to go, there are a few loose ends to take care of. Namely what to do about the restaurant that bears his name and has a giant statue of him out front wearing an outdated uniform.
Beginning Thursday, February 2, [Pujols 5 restaurant] becomes the “St. Louis Sports Hall of Fame Bar and Grill.”
Sure that name seems long and really horrible, but it’s actually be edited down from the original title: “Big Dumb Statue of a Guy No One Likes Anymore That We Can’t Get Rid of and Would You Look at All This Pujols Crap, Where is This Supposed to Go? Screw It Lets Just Rename It Something Sports Themed Like the St. Louis Sports Hall of Fame Bar and Grill”
The Hanon family, long known as one of the city’s finest restaurateurs, have acquired the exclusive restaurant theme rights to the logo and memorabilia of the St. Louis Sports Hall of Fame.
Big score. Really sounds like a lot of restaurants were clamoring for those rights. Take that small coffee and gift shop located at the exit of the St. Louis Sports Hall of Fame!
“The Pat Hanon family remains fully supportive of the mission and work of the Pujols Family Foundation and thanks Albert and Deidra for their friendship and partnership in the restaurant for the past five years,” Hanon said. “ We wish them only the best.”
Translation: Suck my balls you greedy dicks. The least you could have done is taken the damn statue with you. All that time we just smiled and nodded when people would ask us if Deidra helped with the menu, but no longer! Oh you can make mexican rice?! Great job. No one’s impressed. It sucked.
The transformation will be over the next month with changes not only in décor, but on the menu, and the naming of private rooms and other areas. Current and past athletes will be encouraged to come by and soak up the Hall of Fame atmosphere over a meal.
…and Aaron Miles will be the new guy that hands out the biscuits.
via press release