St. Louis Doesn’t Say Any of This Sh*t

Perhaps you’ve heard of the popular video and Twitter account “Shit Girls Say“, and if so you’re certainly aware that it spawned a whole series of “Shit [Some Subset of the Human Race] Say” videos which all suck so hard watching them is like someone took a spike, put it in their butt just a little bit, then stabbed us in our brain through our eye and swirled it around. That being said, people are still making them and the joke just won’t die. Hell local radio station The Bull put out their “Shit St. Louisans Say” video so late it the game it didn’t even remind us of a turd, but rather one of those little aftershock turds at the end and stick to your butt making you do a little wiggle dance to shake off.

This “joke” that everyone thinks they are good at is so horrible it must me stopped. What we need is some unfortunate looking woman in a wool cap to take this to it’s final level where it’s not what a group of people say, but rather what she, a singular person,  says. That, and that alone, might be what it would take to kill this threat to our internet humor souls.

It figures she’d be from St. Louis:

Here’s some shit we say:

– It’s ok to think of what you want to say before you start recording.

– Why do people think that everyone in St. Louis says highway names over and over again? Are these conversations really happening? You’re life sounds boring, so outside and get stabbed!

– How far do we have to throw this pack of hot dogs for you to not be able to find your way back after chasing it down?

Update: Sweet christ, there’s another one! He said Schnucks (we think) and mentioned the Rams so this is so what St. Louis people say! People from St. Louis always call girls “baby” and boys “bro”, and we love to eat chips. We can’t even count how often we hear “How much for the abortion though?” (NSFW) while walking down the street! Man this guy has us pegged. We haven’t seen someone with such a firm grasp on the minutiae of human nature since Jerry Seinfeld.

(Watch out for this video, it has dirty language. Which is just what we say in St. Louis! We love dirty language!)