Missouri Wants Permission to Leave a Few Children Behind

Missouri Wants Permission to Leave a Few Children Behind

“No Child Left Behind” is a federal mandate stipulating that all students must be able to perform basic math and reading skills and prepare all kids for college or to join the work force…but not in Missouri, because dem roolz r too dang imp0sable!

The Education Department is seeking a waiver which is allowed but first they want to know what you think. Education officials will gather public input starting now until January 5 and then will present their plan to the State Board of Education on January 17th.

Get out there and vote dumb kid parents! You know the school can’t save your kid that spends his school days eating glue, playing with himself and cutting poorly drawn skulls in to the top of his desk, so why make the school system suffer?

Educators say that the pressure of trying to reach 100 percent proficiency has created an unhealthy focus on standardized tests, with continual drilling in the classroom and a narrowing of curriculum that excludes anything beyond math and reading. Some also blame the law for creating a warped atmosphere that led educators to allegedly rig test results in Atlanta, Baltimore and the District of Columbia.

…while other educators think “F*ck those kids. I didn’t have a graphing calculator filled with games and the test answers growing up, so if they’re so damn smart, learn stuff yourself. Plus none of this crap matters. Does the quadratic equation help you hold the door open at Wal-Mart, or help you balance your fat ass on one leg for a second while you get those sweat pants on? Didn’t think so.”

Individual “You’re Getting Left Behind.” waivers will be given to all stupid kids next year, along with a second copy pinned to their shirt, because you just know that note isn’t making it home otherwise.

via KMOX and The Washington Post