Our friends at Joe Sports Fan won the internet yesterday after posting a tape of the Game 7 pre-game pep talk Ron Washington gave to his team. While the Rangers talk about hunting down the “leak” and feeding him to Nolan Ryan’s dogs  and then back-peddle and say it’s been taken care of, lets list our top 5 favorite parts:

#5: “[Game 6] was one of the most tremendous baseball games I’ve ever had the pleasure to be a part of.”

No argument there.

**#4: “We can play this fucking game. No doubt about it…and we can beat those mother-fuckers over there. No doubt about it.” **

Apparently there was a little doubt after all.

#3: “Last night was a bitch.”

You are right about that, Michael Young. …but then you were totally wrong about saying how you “got this”.

#2: Everyone’s a fucking champion.

If there’s one thing we learned from listing to Washington’s speech 13 times, it’s that everyone’s a fucking champion. The Rangers are champions, the Cardinals are champions, and the guy that leaked the tape is a champion. Wait, are we saying champions champions? Because then just the Cardinals. But if just general Champions, then the Rangers are in there too because they are the Champs of the American League and 3/7ths of the World Series. Yea! Everyone’s kind of a winner!

#1: “Fuck Carp”

Washington interjects: “…I just came out of the press conference up there and all they wanna talk about is Carpenter…and you know what I said? Motha fuck Carp.” Then someone says “No you didn’t!” to which Washington replied “Yeah I did! …if you read between the lines I said ‘Motha fuck Carp.” …ok, then so you didn’t say that. Between the lines means you didn’t actually say it right? We’re confused. Wait, is this like how everyone’s a champion, when only the Cardinals really are? Oh Ron Washington! You are delightful.

Good luck to the Rangers staff member that recorded the speech! People have been killed for a lot less in Texas.