Jailed Miami Booster Navin Shapiro Ruins Everything

You might have heard that ESPN interrupted its continual coverage of how the Yankees and Red Sox are doing, to bring you an important message about Navin Shapiro and how his blabbing led to another university being caught being all about the money instead of whatever it is universities used to do before college sports made money. The school in question is the University of Miami, but the local connection is how this story has tainted the “I don’t win games, but I’m honest” image of the new Mizzou basketball coach, Frank Haith.

Miami booster Nevin Shapiro alleges that Frank Haith had knowledge of a $10,000 payment the booster made to secure the commitment of basketball recruit DeQuan Jones.

Shapiro said Haith acknowledged knowing about Shapiro’s role in the $10,000 payment and expressed gratitude to him for it when the two met at David’s Café later in the summer of 2008.

The booster said he paid for strip club visits for Haith, including a visit to Solid Gold in late August of 2008.

Oh well that’s just great. We get a new coach at Mizzou, Haith, who was supposed to be an honest guy for a change after the hair gelled coke machine, and the dick that bolted after saying he would never bolt. Just when we were starting to feel like Mizzou had a good thing going, this little slimy bitch ruins everything. Now Mizzou has to decide whether to fire Haith, or keep him on and try to pretend that it won’t destroy any recruiting efforts. As The Post Dispatch’s Bernie Miklasz recently wrote:

When you hire a coach and position him on high moral ground and depict him as an unassailable man of honor, you are obligated to uphold the ethical standards.

And this raises obvious questions. Why would Haith be hanging out in strip clubs with this scoundrel? Why would Haith accept a $50,000 donation from Shapiro? What’s with the texts and phone calls? Is Shapiro really the kind of person you want your basketball coach to run with?

Ugh! This sucks! Why do you have to ruin everything with your ponzi schemes and your corrupting coaches Navin? Yes, we’d probably all be a little pissed off if we were named Navin, but dude, this shit is not cool. What else have you ruined?!

Here’s a short list of other things Navin Shapiro also (probably) ruined based on our awesome investigative skills:

1. The Rams Superbowl

No surprise here, but there’s Shapiro cuddling with another coach of questionable morals.

2. He Might Have Been the “Other” Shooter

3. He Faked the Moon Landing

This photo will blow you away! Ever wonder what Armstrong was looking at in this classic photo, will if you back the fame up a bit (yeah, Photoshop is crazy good these days) you’ll see Navin Shapiro standing over there trying to blend in with a cheesy space helmet on. Nice try butthole! We caught you!

4. He Ruined Meg Ryan

This one is by far the worst. We can always get a new Mizzou coach, and the Rams did just win a Superbowl before that loss to the Pats, but we’ll ever be able to be aroused by Meg Ryan again, and that’s just not cool.

Check out this photo from the operating room during Meg Ryan’s fateful plastic surgery or Joker toxin injection (with before and after Meg Ryan shot for reference)!

…and holy shit look who’s there with Shapiro, Frank Haith. Figures!

via Yahoo! Sports (image source)