We’re Pretty Sure Nate Dogg Robbed a Granite City Cash Store

Ok, ok you’re pretty sure Nate Dogg’s dead right? We were too…until…seriously, hang in there with us for a second…we saw this security camera still taken from the Granite City, Illinois Advanced America Cash Advance (Where the second “advance” means advance!) store.

…and then remembered this:

Ok, so that’s definitely Nate Dogg, who isn’t dead, and/or has now become a zombie. No word on Eazy E’s status as of yet, but he had AIDS…and um…AIDS even takes out zombies we figure, so he might just still be dead. We’s use our vast investigative network to double check, but dude…AIDS. He’s dead. Trust us he’s dead. Nate Dogg: Pretty sure he’s alive now and robbing stores in western Illinois, Eazy E: Still dead with the AIDS.

To be fair, we can’t really be sure because even if the police catch these perpetrators who escaped in their car with an undetermined amount of cash, they* all look the same anyway.

  • they = Guys in suits, you racist.

via KMOX