JoeSportsFan Figures Out Airport Shops Suck Balls

Our friends at and just released their expose on the absolute crappiness of the Lambert Airport sports shop “Hometown Favorites”. Summery? Pedro Guerrero is prominently displayed. Pretty much all you need to know to see where this is going.

Its no surprise of course. Airports in general are set in their own little world. A scary world where an 87 year old woman can take down a plane with a pair of safety scissors, a Burger King Whopper with Cheese costs $9.45 and Mark Mulder is still punching out major league hitters rather than sitting at home with a stain on his shirt yelling at his shoulder.

Not only that, but we aren’t talking about just any airport, we are talking about Lambert airport. When the rest of the world’s airports have gone with new LCD monitors and carpet that doesn’t look like my 8th grade trapper-keeper, Lambert says no!”We like big giant blue monitors, and the carpet is an homage to the opening sequence of Saved by the Bell thank you very much! Hey wait! What are all these planes doing here? Why is this one going to some place people want to go to, like Las Vegas?! …oh. It has a 6 hour layover in New York? Ok. That sounds more like the ‘Lambert Way’”.

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