Cops Nab 45 Car Thieves After Starting New Program

St. Louis’ finest has struck a big blow against our city’s horrible car theft problem with a new program, netting nearly 50 criminals in just one week.

The new program is called “Actually Trying”

Thieves are becoming more sophisticated and more organized when it comes to what police call ‘car clouting,’ according to authorities. To fight back, a special patrol of officers is working the central corridor of the city from downtown to the Central West End.

“It turns out that these car thieves weren’t just turning themselves in like we were originally hoping.” one officier stated, “Last week Sullivan here said, ‘Maybe we should go out there and see if we stop them before they rob the cars.’ Friggin rookies right?! Anyway though, a few of us gave it a go since Dancing With the Stars wasn’t on any more, and we actually caught 45 perps. Who would have guessed it right?!”

As good as it sounds it doesn’t seem the crackdown will last long.

“Its crazy but all the guys we got, all 45 of them, said this was their first time and they were probably going to turn themselves in later this week anyway so we were right in the long run. Plus So You Think You Can Dance has started so…you know…I don’t think it should be a problem though.”

The St. Louis police recommend a few things to keep crime down like, not leaving stuff people might want to steal plain site, driving a crappier car, and when you car gets jacked anyway don’t report it. Tattling doesn’t help anyone you little whiner.

Actual quote via KSDK