Post Dispatch Moves Around People’s Jobs on “Pretend Any of This Matters” Day.

According to both the Riverfront Times and the Post-Dispatch, our local dead-tree news source is moving some people around slightly in their jobs. Initial speculation is that the Post Dispatch celebrated the internal holiday of “Pretend Any of This Matters” Day…or just needed to fill a little space on page 14 between the first ad and the other four.

Most noticeable among those is the switch at City Hall where education reporter David Hunn will step in forJake Wagman who’s covered St. Louis politics for much of the past decade.

In other P-D news…

Former transportation reporter Elisa Crouch — who’s been away on maternity leave — will step in to cover city schools and other education issues for the paper. Ken Leiser, who covered transporation along with Crouch, will continue to report on the subject solo.

Well that’s what you get for taking maternity leave Elisa Crouch! …no one’s saying you shouldn’t have a baby, but if you don’t squeeze that kid out and then come back to work we’ll just pretend your job is safe until you come back and some new hot girl is at your desk and we say “Oh…hey. Ummmm…its Reassignment Day! Please move your stuff to any one of the empty desks I can’t see from my office.”

Don’t believe us? Look at Madonna’s Skeleton. She never takes maternity leave, she just steals kids from other countries because she knows if her old Skeletor-looking ass would get fired from that “Queen of Pop” title the minute we get the chance but she just never leaves her desk. Hell she didn’t even take time off when the rest of her died in 2002, her skeleton just kept showing up.

What does this have to do with the Post Dispatch? We banged your mom. That’s how. Don’t question us.