Rib America Festival Plans To, In Worst Case, Prop Up Bret Michaels This Weekend

Dude! You gotta come to this show brophef! It’s got “Big Head Todd & The Monsters”, “Jackyl”, ‘L.A. Guns”, “Bret Michaels”, “Everclear”, “Collective Soul”, “Foghat” and “Blue Oyster Cult”! Gonna be epic!

You know Rib America Festival, it does sound bitchin’, but I’m not sure I can. My friend recorded this new show called “Friends” and I wanna check it out while I eat my sun-dried tomato pizza and wear this vest over my t-shirt.

So forgetting that someone over at the Rib America Festival either finally got their time machine or found that giant bong they hid in the basement, the real news of this line up is the fact that Bret Michaels is still in it.

Michaels will headline Saturday night performing form 9:15 p.m. to 10:45 p.m. Michaels has been in the news lately due to a brain hemorrhage he suffered in April, which followed an emergency appendectomy.

Last week, Michaels was hospitalized again for what was classified as a warning stroke. While undergoing tests, he learned he had a hole in his heart. Doctors said he would continue treatment for his various health issues on an outpatient basis.

Nothing keeps “real” strokes away like getting on a stage in front of thousands of fat bald dudes with the long hair in the back rocking a sleeves-cut-off jean jacket and a bunch of skanks that only know you from your VH1 show snapping off flash photos in your face.  After that Bret plans on watching the whole series of that japanese robot cartoon while eating a wheelbarrow full of Big Macs and washing it down with Coumadin.

Its been a series of ups and downs for Michaels over the last few years. First he was just sitting around being Bret Michaels (down), and then got on Rock of Love and made himself famous to a whole new generation like Wilford Brimley and those oatmeal commercials (up). Then he got hit in the head with part of a stage. (down) …and then the whole stroke thing. (down again) But then, the other day he put on his jeans a found a dollar! (up) …and a piece of paper that says “Don’t forget you have to play in St. Louis, MO at something called the Rib America Festival.” (down).

via Globe Democrat