Be careful out there in Town & Country, MO…that there is ninja country. There are now two reports of ninja attacks in the quiet St. Louis suburb…maybe it’s a little too quiet…like “Did you just hear something? …hm. No.” nina-star-to-the-head quiet.
Now, unless you are 13 years old, you should be fine. This ninja appears to like the easy game.
A man wearing a ninja mask and all white clothing accosted a 13-year-old boy Thursday at the Town & Country Crossings shopping center, grabbing him off his bike and throwing the boy to the ground.
He also approached a 13-year-old girl on Peacock Farm Road at Featherstone Drive near the park on Thursday, acting strangely.
Normally you wouldn’t dream of thinking that a ninja victim might actually get enough of a look for a description, but that’s if you are talking about a real ninja…not some fat retarded kid attacking 13 year olds.
The same man, described by police as a short, stocky 18-year-old Asian man with spiked hair, has recently been seen playing with swords in Queeny County Park.
The white ninja of Town & Country sure sounds like one hell of a bad ass. There seems to be little choice left other than us having to don our ninja gear and defeat this monster ourselves. It seems so long ago that we promised we would never again use our fists and the powerful weapons that they are. We can still see the tattered remains of Spongebob t-shirts and smell the horribly sweet smell of Capri-Sun packets in our nightmares. …We should have never lost our temper, but that buss of 3rd graders shouldn’t have laughed at a grown man leaping over a puddle with his arms out.
We at Punching Kitty challenge you White Ninja of Town & Country, the great battler or 13 year olds!
…nothing in the face though. That’s how we make our money.
via our ninja watching tipster and STLToday