Stolen Cars in North City Come With Free Bullets!

So you’re a thug ok?  You see a car idling on the street, and you think.  “Wow, doesn’t get much easier than this!”  So you hop in and start to drive away.

And  then you get shot “several times” and die.

Its like the damn wild west in North St. Louis!

An 18-year-old north St. Louis man was fatally wounded Sunday as he attempted to steal a truck.

It happened near Baden around 10 a.m.

Police said a 31-year-old man left the truck running in front of his house in the 8400 block of Church Rd. and went back inside.

Charles Winfrey Kemp, of the 4400 block of Forest Park Blvd., approached the vehicle, attempted to drive it away and was shot several times by the owner.

Kemp was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Now before you go patting Mr. Vigilante on the back for his conceal and carry brand of justice, he’s freaking crooked too.

The 31-year-old man, who was not identified, was taken in to custody for outstanding warrants.

“No one’s going to steal my car!  I stole that shit fair and square last week!”

We don’t venture in to North St. Louis much, but for those that do, when you go up there does all the color fade away with the exception of a few highlights?  You know, like Sin City?  Are there gangs of unregulated hookers chopping off heads in the streets?  Because that’s how it sounds.

Look, if you see a car idling, just let it be. Don’t try to steal it. Also, don’t just leave your car idling in North City…unless you are packing heat, then I guess, do whatever.  You win.  Sorry about your small penis though.