St. Louisans Find Love at Area Walmarts

ap_walmart_070618_msIf you don’t think Walmart is in our midwestern blood stream like that really bad case of gonorrhea we got when I fooled around with that heiress bartender stripper hooker in the parking lot of the Casino Queen [Editor’s Note: Call me Porsche!], then you got another thing coming!  Not only do we buy mayonnaise in bulk there, we also tend to find love by the gallon!

One quick look through missed connections on Craigslist found 18 attempts to reconnect that person they felt an instant connection through the crowds of blue vests and hairy-backed men in sleeveless shirts.

Here are our favorites:

Collinsville Walmart – m4w – 28 (collinsville)

Saw you in Walmart this afternoon. We locked eyes as you were going into the checkout lane. I saw you again when you went to the customer service counter. Can’t get you out of my mind now! If you’d like to meet up later tonight or tomorrow for drinks, e-mail me back with what you were wearing or a picture.

“…or a picture…you know, if that’s easier.  I’m not creepy at all by the way.”  I always wonder what this type of guy’s definition of “locked eyes” is.

regarding the walmart self check girl – 25 (lake st. louis)

i read this post

and it warmed my soul,

deep from within the cockals of my heart

thank you to the brave soul

who exposed a piece of his heart

and shared it with all the world

[I see you all the time, but I don’t think you see me. ]

[You are SO amazingly beautiful. And you have, by far, ]

[the most astonishingly sexy ass of any woman I have ever seen. ]

[Your ass is so incredible that it hurts… ]

[I really wish I could do things to it, and to you…. ]

[I always look forward to going to Walmart, and hoping you are there…. ]

[so I can feast my eyes on your beauty and dream… ]

now thats a deep connection

If by “deep connection” you mean, “good way to get a restraining order” then yes, it is a deep connection.

Belleville Walmart – m4m (Belleville, IL)

You were shopping at Walmart around 2:30 pm on Saturday (09/26). I noticed you looking at me so I kept circling in the area until you left. You were wearing a red t-shit, short and I believe you are from Germany. You are a very attractive young man and I would greatly enjoy the opportunity to get to know you. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but I would not be opposed to that either. I do hope that you see this and respond.

I mean not in a sexual way…unless  you think so too…then TOTALLY!

UPS guy Union Walmart – m4m – 41 (Union)

Seen you at Union walmart tues evening.very sexy hot man. You, dark salt pepper hair 5 oclock shadow. left around same time, you got in blk chev truck. caught you eye, might of been nothin but if it was, hopefully you seen what i was wearing or what i bought, let me know if interested in a little relief sometime.very discreet here

That’s one way to get a package delivered.

walmart in festus – m4w (festus)

you were wearing black boots and a denim skirt and were HOT just wanted to tell ya OMG not many women look that good anymore

This guy’s approach is to insult every other woman in an attempt to get this one particular woman he saw in passing at a Walmart.  Great plan.

Did you find love at Walmart?  …or more likely, do you go to Walmart and feel the eyes of creepy hoosiers and barely there door greeters crawling all over you?