Check Out the New Missouri Drivers License!

Check Out the New Missouri Drivers License!

Take a look at your drivers license…yuck! So horrible. Time for a new design! Something a little uglier, harder to forge yet easier to steal, and with the Arch on it…you know important changes to us, the average citizen.

The license will have a new look and new security features including laser perforations and special printing that reacts to UV lights as well as overlapping data onto a ghost image in the lower right corner of the license.

Finally! How long have we been waiting for laser perforations!? Too long.

Missouri is also introducing a new vertical license for drivers under the age of 21.

Good, because actually looking at a date and doing basic math to figure out if you’re younger than 21 is way way too much work. Do we look like a math professor?! Just take your Smirnoff Ice and go little girl.

The changes not only affect the licenses, but the process for receiving a new one. Drivers will now no longer be able to pick their license up at the license office. Residents will leave the office with a temporary driver license.

Wait, what?

Seven to 10 days later, drivers will receive their new license in an unmarked envelope.

Because unmarked envelopes don’t at all stick out amongst the rest of your fully “marked” mail. For a city population that has trouble keeping the little license plate stickers for longer than two weeks, or a package on their doorstep for longer than two hours, mailing us our official government identification sounds like a great idea.

So to sum up: This all sounds pretty dumb, and while they claim the change isn’t costing the tax payers a dime, that’s just as hard to believe as the changes of these changes actually fixing anything. There is one good thing though, the state is finally clearly marking certain citizens as “Bro”s and thus making them easily identifiable to everyone and harder for them to hide by putting on a jacket so you can’t see their popped polo shirt collar. Yes, it might also just mean his eye color is “BROwn”, but that would be stupid since everyone know the brown abbreviation is “brn”…and also look at that guy up there? The guy with frosted bangs pushed up to make one of those little hair walls, like he’s worried that his forehead zits might try to march on the rest of his head? Totally a bro.

via KMOV and the Missouri Department of Revenue