The concept of deportation was invented for this asshole.

Here’s the short version: A severely impaired driver swerved and ran red lights for miles down Jennings Station road in Pine Lawn, Missouri. At the Margaret intersection he swerved again, this time smashing in to a pregnant woman and then the side of a daycare.

…after that he called everyone’s favorite president, Abe Lincoln, a pussy on Facebook and got out of the car, stepped on a baby bunny, and took a dump on a laptop…but the laptop had pictures of Julia Roberts on it…yes, America’s Sweetheart! No not really, but seriously, fuck this guy.

Witnesses to the crash say the suspect had been driving erratically prior to the accident. So much so, one motorist was ready to call the police.

[They] watched the accident unfold after following the driver on his dangerous path for about two miles.

“He had been swerving into head-on traffic a couple of times, ran a red light,” he said.

People throw around the word hero a lot these days, but this person saw a clearly impaired driver running reds and swerving in to on-coming traffic and they were totally “ready to call” the police. Thank you citizen! Maybe next time actually call the cops, but in the end it’s the thought that matters.

The driver came to a permanent stop after hitting a 22-year-old woman who is three-months pregnant.

Police say the SUV crushed her legs and shattered her pelvis. Witnesses who responded quickly were shocked at what they saw, but may have prevented further injury.

“I heard her hollering, so I ran down to make sure she didn’t go in shock or anything,” said Antoinette Hester. “But the whole side of her hip is like, was twisted, like broke and she started moving but I told her don’t move until the ambulance comes.”

Pine Lawn Sergeant Steven Blakeney said, “I personally feel that she’s lucky to be alive.”

As for the driver, he’s been “uncooperative” and had no license, but he did have a fake Guatemalan passport…so…there’s that. Unless this guy was swerving because he was rushing to bring us a present or he was in the middle of an emergency blood transfusion to an orphan with full blown AIDS and active liver failure he found on the road, then he’s a horrible person and should be sent to a place worse than Guatemalan prison. He should be sent to a Texas prison! The rapiest one they have!

via KMOV (+ photo credit)