While it could be said that St. Louis’ MetroLink stations aren’t the most beautiful train stations in the nation, it doesn’t matter. Being bland is actually a clever safety mechanism because you need to focus on the tasks at hand: 1. Board the right train. 2. Don’t get stabbed. You don’t need to look at art, you need to be watching your back, because that fat lady over there half asleep wearing the skin-tight generic security uniform isn’t going to do it. If you have any extra money, lets spring for the fully automated, machine gun armed security drone rather than some dinky art piece some drunk SLU kid is just going to pee on in a week.

At the Wellston MetroLink stop, artist Mary Lucking took the cover off her bronze piece entitled “Everyone Appreciates a Punctual Train”.

It depicts a pair of birds and a bushy-tailed squirrel keeping a close eye on a clock, all situated on a birdbath-like stand.

You can see the piece above. It’s the one that looks like something from the bargin bin at Lowes garden area. It’s fine we guess, but tell us again how or why a squirrel or bird would care about a punctual train?

“I came out here about a year-and-a-half ago to visit the station and was thinking about what it’s like spending time waiting for a train,” Lucking said while explaining her source of inspiration. “Then I saw birds flutter by and I was thinking about how the birds have this completely different sense of time.”

Please stop eating the pills you’re finding on the train car floor.

She took that idea and ran with it, installing other animals high in the rafters of the shelter that protects MetroLink riders from the elements.

“You might notice one, and then you might notice another one another time you’re there,” Lucking explained. “So they’re little details that you can learn to enjoy.”

So you put fake birds where the real birds usually hang out? Kinda starting to feel like we know why you’re a MetroLink artist rather than a…um…we don’t want to say a “regular” artist…we just think you aren’t…good. That’s what we were trying to say: You’re not good…at art.

But wait! Why does only the Wellston MetroLink station get fake birds?! …well they don’t. The Stadium, Union, UMSL South, Central West End, Laclede’s Landing and Lambert stops are all scheduled to get all fancied up with art too, so yea! How exciting. Maybe the next artist can continue the trend of replacing stuff that is there anyway with fake bronze versions. Like maybe someone should make a bronze smelly, dirty guy that stands way to close to you while staring right in to your soul the whole time as you try to avoid eye contact by looking the backwards down the train and throwing in the occasional “fake stretch to see if he’s still doing it” moves. Now there’s your art! It’s real and makes you think. That’s the trick.

Also, Friday is a wacky tie day on the MetroLink, so feel free to wear khakis and your wackiest tie while continuing to stoically start straight forward towards the empty track that the train will eventually fill. See, we have fun on the MetroLink! Good times over here. Good, only occasionally stabby times.

via KMOV