Everyone knows that Becky, the area’s “Queen of Carpet”, has a long history of horrible commercials and if one came on right now, you’d be all like “Ugh, how has that carpet she stands on not given way and let her fall to her death yet?!” …but if we told you she uploaded all of her old commercials to YouTube, we bet  you’d spend the vast majority of your Friday watching them!

We’re not talking about the new sell-out ones where Becky’s skinny and the carpet moves side to side all fancy like. No one wants to see that. We’re talking about the old ones…the ones where Becky’s bigger than the Arch, there’s that other “Wanda” broad on the carpet and they had special guests like Steve and DC:

…or the one where there was a dog on the carpet that looked just as confused as the rest of us as to why Becky is in a wedding gown:

They went in to space once:

Steve Mizerany made an apperance once and his arm action suggests he had more trouble balancing on the carpet than the ladies:

But nothing can match the acting and the gut-wrenching drama that unfolded when Becky was waiting for Wanda and she didn’t think she could  jump from the Arch to the carpet:

While we enjoyed that trip down memory lane, we’re left with a hollow feeling that only a story about two ladies that are frankly not attractive enough for us to reasonably entertain the though about trying to work in a “two girls riding each other’s carpet” joke can leave. A sad day indeed. Oh wait, we kinda did it after all. Enjoy thinking about that reference all weekend St. Louis!

You can see the rest at youtube.com/user/BeckysCarpetandTile

…oh and because we love you here’s an unrelated Schwieg Engel ad where they cut the one guys’ head off in the name of giving people credit:

Update: A special hat tip to Nicholas Phillips of The Riverfront Times for his in-depth feature on Schwieg Engel and Becky from late last year.