Hopeville Residents Get Moved Again…to Apartments!

The story of St. Louis’ most prominent homeless camp, Hopeville, never seems to end. They’ve been threatened by the city government, then moved, then threatened with removal once again…and now they’re being moved…again. There’s a pattern here we think, but it’s being covered up by one of those big homeless guy coats that holds in all the stink.

St. Louis city leaders say the homeless cannot continue to camp in their makeshift homes along the riverfront.

The city plans to dole out free apartments, complete with paid utilities, as part of its 10-year plan to end chronic homelessness.  City leaders say too many 911 calls, followed by a murder at the camp on Monday proves the homeless need a different kind of help.

So it’s finally come to this: Hopeville apartments. Of course some media outlets are all up in arms about how the apartments are being paid for with tax money and how that will probably make everyone just leave their house, quit their job and decided to be homeless to get a free apartment because smelling like piss and the McDonalds dumpster and living next to a crack head is really appealing to those of us with jobs.

The big question is, will the Hopeville residents take the city’s offer? If they don’t, they look to be moved yet again to locations unknown since the city seems to be finally putting its foot down about the issues happening in the infamous camp. The city really wants to take these guys in, and that’s commendable and a big responsibility, but we hope they know what they are doing here and have a plan to try to get the ones that really want the help, back on their feet. As for the others, just remember to not get them wet or ever feed them after midnight or that old mysterious chinese guy St. Louis bought the first homeless guy from will be all like “I told you so!” Whatever old chinese guy, it’s your own damn fault for being mysterious enough to make me want whatever oddity you’re selling, but vague enough that we don’t realize the consequences until it’s too late, shit gets crazy and then we finally think we got them all, but the next year comes and boom: Stupid sequel with Gremlins that talk.

via KMOV