The St. Charles County Council, which sounds like an awesome collection of warriors, but in reality is a boring collection of old white people clothed in over-priced sweaters, voted in to law a ban of certain bath salt items and more variants of the K2 “fake pot” because kids are getting high off to them. Spray paint and gas would have been outlawed too, but they dodged the ban bullet this time because “the council” needs those items this weekend to repaint their shed and drive to Old Country Buffet as it is their main source of food.
“These people are no different than drug pushers,” Council Chairman Joe Brazil, R-Defiance, said of stores that sell the products.
The bill was designated emergency legislation, allowing its introduction and passage at the same meeting.
The measure, which took effect upon the council’s 6-0 vote, covers both unincorporated areas and municipalities.
Kids snorting bath salts was an emergency? What the hell was the rush for?
Sheriff Tom Neer said outlawing the material would go a long way toward limiting the problem. “A lot of young people are using it just because it’s legal,” he said in an interview.
…ah, ok. Makes sense. You know how kids monitor the County Council meeting notes to see if any hastily enacted laws stop making one of their daily activities no longer interesting because of its legality.
So once again, a bunch of low-level government people are throwing around laws because some kinds found out another way to get high, most likely under the guise of “protecting our future” at the expense of our present. A waste of time and resources (The penalty is up to a year in jail, a $1,000 fine, or both.). Sure, maybe…just maybe…banning this particular brand of bath salts might save a kid’s life, but if that kid was destined to buy, smash and snort bath salts to get high, then that kid’s just going to end up buying, smashing and snorting something else…maybe he’ll survive that though, move in to the city, and rob us. Oh god. That would be sweet. We’re going to write a note for that kid now and always keep it with us so when the day happens, we’ll had it to him and just say “So the day has finally arrived.” and when he gets over his confusion and opens the note it will just say “Ha ha! We just ran away!” but then when he looks up we’ll only be a little ways down the street because that note wasn’t very long and we’re pretty out of shape.