Archbishop: Long Dead Priest Probably Touched Kids

Reverend John Wieberg became a priest in 1918, retired in 1961 and died two years later. In the meantime, he served as a priest in southern Missouri as well as St. Charles County, and, according to St. Louis Archbishop Robert Carlson, he touched kids. Rebuttal Father Wieberg? …oh, that’s right, you’re dead.

Five people have come forward over the past few years alleging abuse that happened from the mid-1940s through the early 1960s, Phil Hengen, director of the archdiocesan office of Child and Youth Protection, said Monday. The archdiocesan Review Board also heard from relatives of a sixth person. The board deemed the allegations credible.

They better be credible, because getting your ass called out as a molester nearly 50 years after you died would suck butt (consenting adult butt of course) if you didn’t really do any of that. We must say though, it is rather good to see even just a section of the Catholic Church take this issue on, stand up and deal with it. Even if it is pertaining to a long since dead priest, maybe these people can move on easier with it out in the open.

…or…and we’re just spit-balling here…this is a new brillant move by the St. Louis Archdiocese. Think about it: Coming forward, admitting wrong…and blaming it on a guy that died 50 years ago! Damn that’s brilliant. Next steps in the healing process will be the piling on Father Wieberg by naming him as the cause of the following other foibles by the Catholic Church: Ignoring the Holocaust: “We wanted to talk discuss and condem it, but Wieberg was all like ‘Hell no! Lets just stay here and ignore that crap and focus on why we can’t ever find any good chinese here in Missouri.” or whatever it was that the Da Vinci Code said the church did: “Wieberg was totally down for covering all that stuff up. Oh, and the whole ‘Lets get a creepy albino guy to kill people and whip himself.’ deal? Totally Wieberg’s idea. Thought it would be hilarious. His first idea was a midget, but it didn’t work out logistically. He kept whipping the floor behind him instead of his back, and it was harder for him to kill people. Bruised a lot of shins though.”

via KMOV