St. Louis Plans to Close Down the Grand Bridge Next Month

Starting as soon as March 14th, the Grand Avenue bridge (from Chouteau to the highway 40 on ramp) will be closed for over a year as plans to replace the bridge and the Metrolink station below begin.

Driving factors for replacement instead of repair are that the aging six-lane bridge was not built to withstand an earthquake, and meeting modern codes would cost too much. Plus, its sidewalks aren’t wide enough for the requirements of the Americans with Disabilities Act. Meanwhile, Metro buses often clog a lane of traffic while picking up passengers.

A year is an awfully long time to have a busy street like that out of commission, but the plans do make it seem worth it in the end:

The new bridge will feature two lanes in each direction and a decorative planter in the middle of the street that will improve the look — and deter jaywalkers, Bradley said. It will have 13-foot-wide sidewalks and bicycle lanes. Equally important, it will have turnout lanes for buses on Metro’s busiest line.

Blow it up! We won’t miss having to slow down around morons crossing all 6 lanes at rush hour and getting stuck behind a bus after a miscalculated attempt to pass the moron going 13 mph in his blue and rust colored pickup truck.

Of course the one thing they really can’t fix is the fact that hey put a metrolink stop in the middle of a freaking bridge with nothing around it but dark streets. Any street that long, uninterrupted by cross streets, makes us feel like we are in a shooting range…a shooting range where the little metal ducks get raped afterwards. That won’t change, but they won’t let facts like that get in the way when they’re busy using up that big case of turd polish they just bought!

Metro transit officials have timed their $7 million renovation of the Grand MetroLink station with the bridge replacement. The new station will feature an open plaza area on Scott Avenue that will be well-lit at night, said Chris Poehler, Metro’s senior vice president of engineering.

“We always wanted to brighten it up,” he said of the Grand station, which sits in an industrial neighborhood. “Our goal is to take it from one of our least inviting stations to our most inviting station.”

Ok! …never gonna happen. First off, lets just get one thing straight: The “most inviting” Metrolink station translates to “the least stabby looking”, which is still a tall order for an ill-conceived Metrolink station that involves you walking a half mile from either direction away from anything of value other than a broke-ass Rally’s, and then down a thin stone staircase to wait on a little cement island surrounded by industrial buildings just vacant enough that no one can hear you scream. …oh and now it will have lights so you can just get a good enough look at your attacker’s face that now he’ll have to kill you.

Nah! We heard crime’s getting better in the city. Go Billikens!

via STLToday