Someone Else Gets Shot in the Ass: Betcha Can’t Steal Just One Bag of Potato Chips!

Three kids enter a gas station to steal some chips. Maybe Ruffles. We aren’t sure, but Ruffles are the best, only morons steal Doritos.

The teenage boy entered Myrt’s Northland Market at 2814 North Kingshighway with two other teens, Lt. Ken Lammert said. The owner, Myrtle Dunn, watched the teens take some potato chips and try to leave the store without paying.

Dunn demanded they return them, and two of the teens did so, Lammert said. But the third pulled a gun on Dunn.

Everyone had that friend in high school that just wasn’t right. Their weird friend decided to pull a gun over a $1.23 bag of chips. Sure if they were actually Ruffles, we could see it, but anyway. This little wannabe badass pulls his gun on a gas station clerk, though its clearly his first gun-pulling situation because everyone knows the only people more armed than your average kid strolling through North City is the gas station attendants.

She grabbed her own gun from beneath the counter and fired two shots at the teen, hitting him once in the buttocks, Lammert said. He ran from the store and collapsed on a nearby corner.

The kid is fine…well he got shot in the ass…but he’ll live and face robbery charges once healed. Friend #1 that stuck by his side will get rewarded with his loyalty by getting a petty theft charge while Friend #2 got his ass on a bus and slowly got away. Back at the gas station, the police praised the shooter for taking fire.

“The main thing is she’s fine,” he said. “She may have saved her own life by shooting at the subject. We don’t know what that subject was going to do.”

True story. If that little shit was going to pull a gun for some freaking chips, who knows what he would have shot her over.

…unless they were Ruffles. They have ridges you know. Great for dip and the Cheddar and Sour Cream flavor is totally worth at least killing a single innocent person, or getting shot in the ass once. One time we knifed a guy for some BBQ chips. Turns out they were Lays, we felt really bad afterward.

via STLToday