Lincoln County Girl Lost in Woods for Seven Hours Comes Home to Weird Dad

After leaving to walk the family dog Rachel said “Manger” ran off after some squirrels and after chasing him she couldn’t find her way home. The dog did though and when he came home without their daughter mom and dad called the police. Seven hours later, after, according to Rachel, a nap and falling down once, she walked back out of the woods, unharmed.

The girl managed to find her way back and just walk up to the house? Well done Lincoln County police. I mean, they would have found her, but they were too busy with the pre-invstigation work of setting up the press conference podium, calling CNN and working up the “black man in dark hooded sweatshirt” sketch to tell them about the little white girl that was missing. They would have gotten to actually looking for her in a little bit. Maybe if Rachel was a little more considerate and gotten lost for 8 or 9 hours, they could have made a difference. Frankly it’s rude for her to just take it upon herself and get home. All that work for nothing. Sure there’s a little latino girl missing in North St. Louis, but that’s not news! No one’s getting any Fox News live coverage over that.

Dad was happy to see his daughter walk home of course, so happy, he told everyone why she’s so retarded sometimes!

Wilkerson said Rachel and three of his other five children are adopted and suffer the side effects of fetal alcohol syndrome. Sometimes that causes Rachel to misbehave, he said. The children are home-schooled.

…ok. She wasn’t misbehaving though. She’s just a little girl that followed her dog and got lost. Really not sure why you felt the need to drop this on us Dad. Were you worried she was still a little too normal even after the home schooling? Also Dad, make sure you take this moment to make a “joke” so you can seem cool on TV. If you could have the joke not really make any sense too that would be really great and fall in line with the home-schooling and outing your kid’s business for no reason…

With his daughter safe at home now, Wilkerson had a humorous take on the day’s events.

“I think she’ll be giving some lessons in escape and evasion,” he said. “She’s something else.”

Perfect. She got lost across the street and then took seven hours to walk home. Yup. A regular Houdini.

via (and photo credit) STLToday