Listen up people! The St. Louis Cardinals official Twitter account is now “CardsInsider” not…um…whatever it was before.
Here’s a chunk of the actual press release sent out yesterday afternoon about this momentous day:
“Our new name better reflects the content that fans can expect to receive when they sign up to follow the team on Twitter,” said team President Bill DeWitt III. “In a relatively short period of time, our Twitter feed has really established itself as the unfiltered source of the latest news and insider information directly from the club.”
This is apparently the kind of thing Bill DeWitt III does these days. Good for him. Also good for the Cardinals as they do everything they can to try and make sure the fact their team is effectively sitting in a pile of their own poop instead of preparing for an October run at the World Series.
However, this insane wave of good vibes over changing your Twitter name won’t last for more than a few days, a week a the most! What can you do next? Allow us to offer some suggestions:
Just have one of your low level guys, anyone really, call up B.J. Rains and tell him there are internal discussions to trade Pujols to the Yankees for Derek Jeter. This one is a lock.
Email out a Playoff tickets flyer to everyone! …wait. This would not be a good move, and it appears you’ve already tried this.
Make Colby Rasmus ask for another trade. Tell him you heard Tony said that he was ugly and he’s going to the Prom with John Jay after all.
Win two games in a row.