St. Charles County Also Hates Bicycles

A bill is working its way through St. Charles County’s political system that would ban bicycles traffic on streets such as Highway D, DD, F, Z, and 94. Maybe the move here would be to spend some time renaming these dumb-ass highways…except for Highway Double-D, that one can stay. Boobs.

Among speakers supporting Brazil’s bill at the July 12 meeting was Stephen East of Cottleville, whose 16-year-old daughter was seriously injured in a 2003 accident on DD, when the vehicle she was driving topped a hill and encountered a bicyclist in her lane. East said she swerved, ran off the road, hit a tree and was thrown from the car.

…by using that logic, you should ban cars too. People always rush to the “but I hurt myself one time with it” argument, but if that was logically sound everything would be illegal other than air high-fives and those are for pussies. Are you a pussy? Didn’t think so.

Because we assume he just hadn’t said anything in a while, Councilman Jerry Daugherty amended the bill to also ban biking on more two-lane roads. Which is really pissing off the hippies that are whining about the environmental impact of this law while trying to pretend they don’t live in New Melle and can actually ride a bike somewhere other than the farm next to their farm.

Everyone should just mellow though because…wait for it…none of this crap matters!

MoDOT official Melissa Anderson said her agency has no intention of banning bicycles. She added that if the county ordinance is approved, MoDOT would consider it unenforceable. She said the state agency also would refuse to issue a permit allowing the county to post no-bike signs on state right-of-way next to the state roads.

Well there you have it. St. Charles is, once again, spending its time bitching back and forth about rules that don’t matter. Later this month, the St. Charles political docket will include other interesting debates as:

Gravity: Are the Mexican’s using more of it than they should?

The “gays” say fierce too much. What are the rules on banning words?

We like to go to Cardinal games, but hate the traffic, people, buildings, parking, prices, seats, walking, and distance.

What the hell is this Facebook thing?

via STLToday, who if it was a collective person would probably stink and be that weird guy at the office that just stares at you instead of saying hello…oh, and you know for a fact he never washes his hands after he pees.